


Who Are You?

by Shining_Golden_Girl



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst because mmmmmm I love angst it's my natural writing genre
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-12
Updated: 2020-11-06
Packaged: 2021-03-03 04:14:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 8,057
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24138700
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shining_Golden_Girl/pseuds/Shining_Golden_Girl
Summary: I should probably be working on Come Back Home, but I felt like making this. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯|>Warning: Unsympathetic Deceit + Remus (I think)<|(Any other warnings will be addressed at the beginning of the chapter)Hope you enjoy!
Relationships: Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders/Deceit Sanders
Comments: 8
Kudos: 28





	1. Unexpected Visitor

|>Warning: Domestic violence/Abuse<|

Patton sat at the table in the kitchen. He was serenely humming to himself, eating his breakfast. The others had gone out, and he had elected to stay home. He had just finished washing up his bowl and putting it on the drying rack when he heard a thump from the living room.

He turned around and took in a disheveled Deceit, missing his hat, cape crumpled, ripped sleeves, and what looked like a scar across his cheek. It looked fresh.

"Deceit!" Patton exclaimed, running over to him. "What happened? Who did this to you? Are you okay?" Being closer, Patton could see a tiny trickle of blood coming out Deceit's nose. Patton guided him to the couch, where he collapsed. Patton went and got an ice pack and a small bandage. 

Deceit coughed. "Can... Can I have some water?"

Patton dropped the ice and bandage on the couch and ran back to the kitchen to get him a glass of water. "What happened?"

Deceit gulped down the water in swallow. Patton went to get more. "It.. It was R-Remus.. He d-did this..."

Patton dropped the glass. "But.. Why would he do this?"

"I don't know... He-he just d-does.." Deceit was rapidly becoming more and more incoherent. "He j-just gets in these m-moods and he.. He..." Deceit finished in tears. 

At that moment, the door opened, and Patton and Deceit turned to see a smiling Virgil, talking with Roman, facing away from them. Logan was smiling momentarily, but then a look of shock crossed his face. "Guys..."

"What? Really, Logan, you need to loosen up a bit-" said Roman, before Logan cut him off quietly.

"No.." Logan gestured to the living room.

Virgil and Roman spun around to the sight of Deceit, looking like he'd been mugged, sitting on the couch, and Patton standing in the kitchen, broken glass shards pooled around his feet.

Virgil stormed to Patton and threw his arms around him. "Are you okay, Patton?" he asked quietly. He turned his head in Deceit's direction. "What happened?" he snarled.

Deceit was making small gulping noises, trying to compose himself.

"It wasn't his fault, Virge," said Patton, voice muffled by the fact that Virgil had Patton's face squished into his shoulder.

Virgil had had his family destroyed by Deceit before. He wasn't going to let it happen again.   
Deceit wasn't going anywhere near Patton.

"Then what did happen?" asked Roman, looking nonplussed. 

"Deceit just.. Showed up, looking like that. I was getting him some water when he said that Remus did that to him, and I dropped the cup," Patton told Virgil's shoulder. 

Roman looked shocked and strangely... Scared.

"Deceit came here for help?" asked Logan.

"Yes." Patton replied simply.

"Fine," said Virgil. "We help you, and then you leave. Okay?"

They all looked at Deceit, who nodded slightly.

"Well then." Logan walked to the medicine cupboard to pull out a few more bandages. "We might as well get started."


	2. Happy Afternoon

Roman had gone to the Dark corner, sword in hand, ready to confront his brother as to why he had hurt Deceit so badly, Logan was busy helping Deceit with various bandages and ointments, and Virgil was off in Patton's room playing a board game together on Patton's floor.

"And... I think we're done," said Logan, sitting back and letting the bandages roll from his hand. Deceit now had a bandage across half his face, and a few on his arms, under his sleeves. "I can't fix your clothes, but I'm sure you have some back in the Dark corner."

Deceit nodded, and gave a small groan at the movement.

"Well, you're free to go back now," Logan said.

Deceit slowly opened his mouth, let out an almost silent "Thank you" and sank down where he sat.

Logan made his way upstairs, stopping to put away the remaining bandages in the bathroom as he walked up to join in Patton and Virgil's game.

"Hey Logie! Did Deceit leave?" asked Patton as Logan entered.

"Hello Patton, Virgil. Yes, Deceit has left," replied Logan. "And before you ask," he added, as Patton opened his mouth again. "Yes, he will be fine."

Patton nodded happily. "Want to join in?" he asked, gesturing to the board. Logan looked at it. Cluedo. Why not?

"Okay, Patton."

Patton looked happy to have Logan join. "Well I'm Mrs. Peacock and Virgil's Mr. Plum, but you can pick from the others!"

Logan briefly looked over the options before selecting Miss Scarlet. He placed his piece on the board, and they resumed playing.

Roman came back a few hours later, absolutely fuming. "Remus said "Deceit is his boyfriend and it's his business if he needs disciplining," said Roman, making quotation marks in the air with his fingers. "I mean, you don't need discipline in a relationship!"

He stood in the doorway, facing the three figures on the floor.

"Maybe Deceit could stay here for a bit?" suggested Patton.

"No," said Virgil flatly. "You don't know what he's like, what he's really like. I'm not having him anywhere near me, or any of you for that matter."

"But why?" asked Logan. "You've never told us what he did, or why you left. All we know is you hate him and don't trust him, and you don't want to go near him."

Virgil looked back at Logan, staring him in the eye, challenging him. "I'm not telling you. I can't tell you. If I-" Virgil took a breath. "Whenever I try to talk about what he did to me, I shut down. So no. I'm not telling you."

Virgil turned his attention back to the board. "End of discussion."

Patton wanted to know more, but knew better than to ask. He knew Logan felt the same, but Logan didn't say anything.

Roman stormed off to his own room, still angry about Remus, and Patton, Logan and Virgil continued playing.

The next few hours passed quickly, with Virgil winning their game of Cluedo before helping Patton and Logan pack up and retreating to his room.

Virgil sat on his bed, headphones on, My Chemical Romance blasting through, when there came a knock at the door. Virgil opened it, and there stood Roman, looking much calmer than he had earlier.

"Hey," Roman said. "Want to play a game? Patton's busy."

"Um. Sure, why not," Virgil replied, following Roman down to the living room and sitting down on the couch. He held up two video games.

"Mario Kart or Super Smash Bros?" Roman asked

"Mario Kart."

Roman enjoyed playing games with Virgil, he was such a good player it was interesting to watch. 

And sure enough, after a while Patton came downstairs to watch, soon followed by Logan.

Patton cheered on Virgil, yelling out things like "Careful!" "Nice one!" "How did you do that, I would've fallen off!" and Logan encouraged Roman with comments like "Little to the left." "No, don't do that..." "You will fall off the track, Roman."

Virgil responded to every comment with a smile or a nod, while Roman responded to Logan with grunts and eye rolls as he inevitably fell off the track for the twentieth time that afternoon.

"It's Logan!" said Roman, falling off the track yet again. "He's messing me up!"

"No he's not," retorted Virgil, celebrating another victory. "You won't listen to him, and you keep failing."

"No, he's messing with my concentration!" replied Roman.

"Fine," said Logan, adjusting his glasses. "I will not speak at all this round. See how long you last."

"Good! I might be able to win this time!" said Roman as Virgil selected another track and pressed Play.

But without even some of Logan's tips, Roman had fallen off the track within the first twenty-seven seconds of driving.

Virgil was laughing his head off, Patton was stifling giggles and Logan was suppressing a smile.

"Fine! Logan's helpful!" burst out Roman. He held out the controller. "Want a go?"

Logan took the controller and sat next to Virgil. "Sure."

As it turned out, Logan was a very good player, almost as good as Virgil.

Now Patton was cheering on Logan as Roman cheered on Virgil, as Virgil sent Bloopers and Blue Shells toward him, avoiding everything Logan sent back, and finally, Logan came to the finish line just seconds after Virgil.

Virgil went on a victorious march around the house wearing Roman's tiara, blanket tied around his shoulders like a cape.

Roman followed after him, holding up the ends of his blanket-cape so they wouldn't catch on anything.

Logan sighed as Virgil walked past him for the third time in his celebratory outfit. "Why do you need this all?"

"All what?" asked Virgil innocently.

Logan gestured to his outfit.

"I take my video games very seriously," replied Virgil with dignity.

Virgil then made his way into his room, Roman in tow, and shut the door.

A few moments later, Logan and Patton heard Victorious by Panic! At The Disco start playing, very loudly.

Logan put his face in his hands. He didn't know someone could be so committed.

And suddenly another voice joined in.

But it didn't sound like Roman.

Phone in hand, Patton quietly made his way up the stairs, opened the door a crack, pressed Film on his camera and stuck his phone through.

Being closer, Patton could tell, it was definitely Virgil. He wondered why he never performed for them, he was amazing.

Patton let the camera record for a few minutes before withdrawing it and retreating to his room to watch it.

Patton plugged in his earbuds, put them in his ears and pressed play.

It was Virgil all right, parading around his room singing into his hairbrush, Roman sitting on his bed watching in awe.

Patton watched for another minute or so, before closing the video.

Virgil was happy, Roman was happy, Logan had enjoyed the afternoon, and Deceit was going to be okay.

Patton loved these moments with his family.


	3. What's Happening?

|>Warning: More domestic violence/abuse<|

The weeks had passed quickly, it had now been about five weeks since Deceit had come for help, and there had been no further contact between the Sides, so Patton supposed he was fine. 

It was a few days before his birthday, so Virgil, Roman and Logan had left the house to do who-knows-what, as Roman had shut the door with a call of "It's a surprise!"

So Patton sat contentedly on the couch, flicking through Netflix.

Again, like he had last time, Deceit rose up, looking even worse than before.

He was missing half his cape, it looked like it had been burnt off, his face was covered in burns, and he was coughing profusely. One of his sleeves had been ripped entirely off above the elbow, exposing an arm covered in cuts and bruises.

The moment he had risen up he sank to the floor in a fit of coughing.

"Deceit?" Patton launched himself off the couch, landing on his knees and skidding slightly, coming to rest next to Deceit. "What happened? Is it Remus again?"

Deceit couldn't seem to formulate words at the moment, he just nodded and continued coughing.

Patton ran and got Deceit a cup of water, before gripping both his arm and his shoulder and guiding him to the couch.

Deceit slowly drained the glass, coughing subsiding.

"It.." Patton was shocked at how croaky his voice sounded. "It was Re- Remus ag-gain. He.. He said I wasn't doing what I was t-told and he u-used f-fire on me..."

Patton instinctively hugged him. He couldn't handle it.

"Ow," whispered Deceit. "Burns. Sh-shoulder. Ouch." 

"Sorry, Deceit!" said Patton, letting go immediately. "Is there anything I can do to help? Maybe let you stay here, or..?"

Deceit thought for a moment before deciding. "Would you.. Would just c-come and t-talk to Remus? He- he might listen to you, I would but I'm scared he'll h-hurt me ag-gain.." 

Patton was eager to help in any way he could. "Of course Deceit. I'll talk to him, but.. Can you show me where to find him? I've never been to the Dark Side's corner before." 

Deceit smiled weakly. "Sure, Patton. I can show you where to g-go.." 

Deceit held out a hand and Patton held it tightly, and together the pair sank down into the Dark.

It was a lot darker than Patton had expected, a pitch-black void stretching endlessly every way he could see, every way he turned. They were standing on a shining yellow path, leading into the gloom, and in the far distance Patton could see a door at the end of the path. He looked to Deceit.

"This way," he said. He sounded much better than he had a few moments ago, standing up straighter, like he had never been hurt in the first place. Patton shook off the feeling. He had promised to help, so he was going to help.

Patton followed Deceit in the direction of the door, getting increasingly scared.

Deceit seemed to be walking faster and faster, if he didn't slow down Patton might lose him. Patton sped up too, saying gently, "Kiddo, can you slow down a bit? Just you're going a bit fast.."

Deceit turned his head back, yellow eye shining, before slowing his pace infinitesimally to allow Patton to catch up. "Thanks kiddo.." 

Patton looked around, his fear growing even more as they grew closer to the door. If he looked closely, the door seemed to be... Glitching? Patton was terrified.

"Just a bit further!" said Deceit, his voice now normal, not the quivering mess Patton had heard not five minutes ago.

Patton looked uncertainly at Deceit. "Are you sure?" 

Deceit looked back at him, instantly shrinking a tiny bit, starting to shake slightly. "Y-Yeah, he'll b-be around here.." 

Patton heard Deceit's now once again scared voice and shook his head slightly. "Get yourself together," he muttered to himself. "You said you would help, so now you're going to help."

Patton followed him down the path as the air around him seemed to come alive.

It buzzed and jumped and sparked, scaring Patton at every moment.

The buzzing grew louder and louder, the door glitching harder and harder, and as Patton turned to Deceit, he saw that he was glitching too.

What was happening?

Patton hurried after Deceit.

They were so close to the door, the entire world was jumping and buzzing and sparking and glitching.

"Deceit?" Patton's voice was clearly full of fear. "What's happening?"

Deceit looked at him, still looking like he was terrified of what was through the door. And yet there was a kind of satisfaction behind it. "Just th-through here.." Deceit held out his hand, and it shook slightly as Patton took it and allowed himself to be pulled through the door.

And then...

Cold.

Dark.

Silent.

Empty.


	4. We'll Show Them

There was a burst of purple smoke, a great pillar of smoke materialising before Patton.

Materialising into Virgil.

"Kiddo, what are you doing here?" Patton started toward Virgil, placed a gentle hand on his arm.

Virgil threw it off with as much force as he could.

"Don't touch me," he spat. "You failure of a father."

Patton was shocked. "K-kiddo..?"

"Don't call me that. I hate you." Virgil turned away. "I would rather live with the Dark Sides than be anywhere near you."

Patton stared at Virgil, unable to comprehend what was happening. 

Virgil disappeared, back into purple smoke, as a great red pillar appeared before him.

Materialising into Roman.

"You failure," said Roman. "You're nothing. Nothing but a waste of space."

Patton began to cry, softly, quietly. Roman didn't care.

"You spend all your time siding with Logan. You just want to be the helpful boy, the one who helped the detective through the problems, but no-one would care if you went missing. No-one."

Patton's crying became louder.

Roman disappeared.

A dark blue smoke cloud appeared, before materialising into Logan.

He looked angry.

"L-Logie?" Patton's voice was small.

Logan let out a sigh, full of anger and frustration. "You're so useless!" He yelled at Patton. "Thomas doesn't need you, he could function entirely without you. You're nothing but a waste of space."

Patton's crying escalated, full throated sobs.

Logan, if anything, seemed even angrier. "Just STOP!" He screamed at Patton. "Just stop being the stupid little emotional wreck you are. Just go away. Go live with the Dark Sides, that would be better than having to deal with you."

Patton covered his ears as the purple and red smoke clouds reappeared, Virgil and Roman came back.

All three of them were shouting at him, their words swirling into one giant mass of noise.

Just go away!

Never return!

I never wanted you as a father.

You're a failure.

You don't deserve to be a Light Side.

You shouldn't even exist.

"Please!" Patton yelled, crouched on the ground, eyes squeezed shut and ears covered, but their words seemed to wiggle straight into his brain. "Please, stop!"

Suddenly, their voices became quieter, like someone had muffled them, but they were still clearly there.

Patton opened his eyes, saw a shining yellow hand reaching towards him, open for him to take. 

A voice sounded, not the ones yelling abuse at him, a softer one, quieter, offering him escape.

I can take you away from them.

You won't have to deal with them ever again.

We'll show them.

Patton wiped his eyes, and grabbed the hand.

Instantly he was pulled away from the voices, away from the Light Sides, away from the family that wasn't a family, away.

Far, far away from there, the front door swung open. Virgil quickly stepped inside, looking left and right for Patton. Once he had confirmed he wasn't there, he motioned for the others to come in, Roman walking inside carrying the biggest, most colourful cake on the planet, followed by Logan, carrying bags of lollies, treats and balloons.

If it were Logan's birthday, he would've insisted on just having a quiet birthday, perhaps a movie night with the others.

But this was Patton. He knew Patton would love the balloons and decorations, once he saw them. So he repositioned the bags on his arms and continued forward.

Roman rushed upstairs as fast as he could, conjuring a mini fridge in his room and stuffing the cake inside. There were still five more days until Patton's birthday, he couldn't risk Patton finding it too early.

Logan made his way upstairs too, stashing the decorations in a hollow part of the wall he had created a few years earlier for instances just like these.

Virgil was already hiding presents in his room, so he calmly made his way upstairs, not bothering to be careful.

He knocked on Patton's door a couple of times. "Pat? We're home." He opened the door and saw that it was empty.

"Guys?" Virgil called. "Where's Patton?"

"Is he not here?" asked Roman, walking over.

Virgil rolled his eyes. "If he were here, why would I be asking where he was?"

Roman stopped. "Ah. Right." He pulled out his phone. "I'll just call him."

Roman pressed Patton's name and clicked the phone icon.

The pair waited a few moments before Virgil heard a soft buzzing from inside Patton's room.

He walked inside, and found Patton's phone, buzzing on his bedside table.

"Where would he have gone?"

Roman looked at the phone, and shrugged. "Hey, Logan?"

"Yes?" Logan came out of his room, having just relieved himself of the bags. 

"Pat's not here, and we just found his phone."

"Maybe he left a note?" said Logan, adjusting his glasses.

Roman looked at him. "And wouldn't take his phone with him?"

Virgil sighed. "Who knows? Let's just look around."

And the three of them got to work searching for a hint as to where Patton had gone, unaware that he was somewhere far away, crying because of their words.


	5. Cracks

Patton looked around at where the hand had taken him. 

The world was full of colour, so bright and vibrant and alive.

Patton laughed in disbelief; after the darkness of the last place, the terrifying glitching of the path and the door, this place gave Patton a feeling, like here was where he was meant to be.

Someone cleared their throat behind him, and he turned around to see who it was.

Deceit.

He was.. Glowing slightly, scales shining and gloves bright yellow. He extended a hand to Patton. "I can help you, I can can protect you from them, we'll show them who they cast out." He smiled warmly. 

Patton stepped forward and took his hand without hesitation.

Instantly, a splitting crack rent the air, and Patton fell to his knees in pain, clutching his cheek, where a giant fracture had appeared.

"What happened?" he asked desperately, tears filling his eyes. 

Deceit was kneeling next to him. Patton didn't remember him moving. Deceit rubbed a hand on Patton's back. "It's going to hurt for a while. It's perfectly normal. I know, it's not nice, but it must happen." Suddenly Deceit was holding a steaming mug of something that smelled amazing. He handed it to Patton. "This will help, but it will happen again."

Patton took a tentative sip and felt the pain recede. He smiled weakly at the Side next to him. "Th-thanks Dee."

Deceit gripped both Patton's arm and shoulder, helping him to stand. "Come on, let's get you a change of clothes." 

Patton's head was still spinning slightly from the pain, and just nodded, allowing himself to be guided wherever Deceit was taking him.

Deceit guided him down paths and through doorways that Patton could have sworn weren't there a second before, before pushing him gently through two large black curtains with the words, "Choose whatever you want." 

Patton looked around at the racks and shelves and hooks, covered in clothes.

He raked his eyes over everything, searching for a change of clothes. He didn't want to stay in these clothes, the ones that reminded him so much of the Light Sides, the ones who had cast him out.

He was about to decide on a dark brown shirt when he saw a purple shirt, with a broken heart over the left breast. He picked it up, dropping his cardigan off his shoulders onto the floor, and replacing his blue shirt with the purple one. He looked at the rack of jackets and pulled off a black one that reminded him of Thomas's JD performance in Heathers, back in 2015. He pulled it on and looked at himself in a mirror, the spinning in his head now completely gone.

This looked like him.

He threw open the curtains and walked back to Deceit, who looked at him for a moment before saying, "I like it! Nice outfit!" 

Patton smiled in response as another head-splitting pain rocketed through his head, another crack like a gunshot broke the air and he clutched his forehead, falling almost completely over before Deceit caught him.

He summoned another cup and gave it to Patton, who drained it as fast as he could.

Deceit held his arms out slightly, helping Patton stand on his own, pain already fading.

"How often is that going to happen?" asked Patton, voice shaking. 

Deceit looked at him sympathetically. "That's going to happen quite often, for maybe three weeks or so."

Patton sighed. "But why is it happening? What is it?"

Deceit took a moment before answering. "It's your Changing. I don't think you're going to be Morality for much longer."

Patton looked stricken. As much as Patton wanted to get away from the Light Sides, he couldn't leave Thomas without Morality! "I can't change! Thomas needs his Morality, he needs to know his rights and wrongs, I-" Patton fell silent as Deceit placed a hand on his chin, gently, lifting his head up ever so slightly.

"Oh Patton," Deceit said lightly. "I'm afraid you have no choice."

And then he blew at Patton like a candle, glittering yellow dust flying out from his hand and into Patton's face. Patton coughed and spluttered as the world went black and he fell to the ground.

Roman looked at the others. "Find anything?" 

Logan and Virgil shook their heads. 

"Maybe Deceit has something to do with it? He did show up a few weeks ago when Patton was alone," Logan suggested.

Virgil clenched his hands into fists. "If he has anything to do with this, I'm going to kill him." He felt something shift inside his mouth and quickly shut it.

Not now, he thought. They can't find out now.

"I say we go and ask!" Roman said.

Virgil nodded, hands still fists.

Logan nodded too, and they sank down together.

Patton's head was swirling as he lifted himself up onto his elbows. He was lying on a couch of some sort.

"Ah, you're awake!" Patton turned and saw Deceit walking towards him with a cup of water. "How do you feel?"

Patton took the glass and pushed himself into a sitting position. "Kinda dizzy.. What happened?"

Deceit sat on the couch next to Patton's legs. He indicated just under Patton's right eye. "You got another crack, and it made you pass out."

"Oh... Okay," replied Patton.

Deceit's head whipped around. "I can sense the Lights coming. Feel like talking to them, or do you want to head upstairs?"

Patton thought for a moment. "I want to go upstairs."

Deceit nodded. "Okay." He offered his arm to Patton, which Patton took. 

"Thanks Dee.."

Deceit smiled, helping him across the room and up the stairs to the spare room down the hall.

Patton sat heavily on the bed.

"You can stay as long as you need, Pat, okay? I'll be back upstairs in maybe ten minutes." 

Patton nodded as Deceit left the room.

The three Lights rose up into the Dark Side's living room, looking around as Deceit came down the stairs.

"Ah, Deceit," said Logan. "Have you seen Patton today?"

Deceit looked confused. "No. He's normally with you, where were you?"

"We were getting certain items for Patton's upcoming birthday," replied Logan. "So he was home alone for a majority of the morning."

"Well, I haven't seen him."

Virgil narrowed his eyes at the Side. "I don't believe you." He started towards him.

Roman touched his arm. "Virgil. We can look again, and then if we need to come back, and then you can beat him up. Okay?"

Virgil took a breath, breathing slowly out his mouth. "Fine." He glared at Deceit and lowered his voice. "If you did anything to him, you know what'll happen." His eyes flashed purple.

For the first time, Deceit looked scared. He swallowed and forced himself to look back at Virgil, unbothered.

"Let's go, Virge," said Roman.

Virgil stepped back and the trio sank down.

Deceit made his way back upstairs, taking a moment at the top to compose himself, before walking down to the room Patton was in. He creaked open the door to see Patton had gone back to sleep. The Changing was tiring, after all.

Deceit smiled, not the warm, kind smile he had used with Patton earlier, a cold one, a cruel one.

He flicked the light off and quietly shut the door, heading back to his own room. "Soon.." he muttered to himself. "Not much longer..."


	6. Reassurance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I know this is kinda short but it's been too long (8 days) since I posted the last chapter and I needed to get it out before yesterday so looks like I failed -__-
> 
> Have some fanfiction

Patton woke up in the middle of the night, to an agony in his jaw as yet another crack sounded. He held it in pain and tears as Deceit came in, looking like he'd been expecting this.

He handed Patton another cup, and then conjured a few more for other cracks, should they come during the rest of the night. Patton smiled gratefully at him as he accepted the cup and drained it, pain slipping away.

Deceit yawned, and said, "Patton, this probably will happen again tonight, but-" Deceit gestured to the few cups he'd conjured and placed on the bedside table. "You have these. Let me know if it's worse than normal, okay?"

Patton nodded. Deceit nodded back and slowly shuffled out of the room, yawning again. "Goodnight, Patton."

"Goodnight, Dee."

Virgil shot upright in bed, breathing hard.

He rubbed his face with his hands.

"Just a dream," he whispered to himself. "Just a dream." 

He laid back down and tried to make sense of what had happened in his dream.

He remembered Patton, looking like he was in pain, surrounded by a yellow light.

He remembered Deceit taking Patton away as he cried, Virgil shouting and reaching for him, but Patton never seemed to hear.

A crack like a gunshot as Patton fell to the ground.

Patton changing his outfit, no longer the father figure Virgil remembered.

Patton yelling at him and the others, about how they cast him out, how they hated him.

And then Virgil had woken up.

He rubbed his face again, and realised his face was wet.

He had been crying.

"Get yourself together," he mumbled to himself. "Patton's fine, we'll find him soon."

He shook his head, an attempt to clear his brain of the images.

Water.

He'd go get himself some water, from the kitchen.

Virgil dragged himself out of bed and slowly walked downstairs, before registering someone already down there.

"Virgil. Couldn't sleep either?" Roman stood in the kitchen, holding a cup of water. Virgil shook his head.

"Bad dream. I see you've come down for water too." Virgil made his way to the kitchen, filling up his own glass.

"Wanna talk about it?" Virgil didn't miss the slight softening of Roman's voice.

"No, it's okay."

Roman nodded. He studied Virgil for a moment before he placed down his empty cup on the counter and walked straight towards Virgil, wrapping his arms around the smaller Side.

Virgil froze. Patton, sure, but Roman had never hugged him like this. He wasn't sure he and Princey had even made physical contact besides occasional high-fives and that episode of Sanders Sides, years ago, when Patton made them hold hands.

But he slowly put his glass down and extended his arms around Roman, hugging him back.

"You good Princey?" Virgil asked, half-joking.

Roman said nothing, and just shook his head.

"Okay then.." Virgil let his voice trail off, just holding Roman there before the Side slowly lowered his arms and stepped back.

"Thanks Virge, I- I needed that."

Virgil smirked at him. "Of course, Sir Sing-A-Lot."

"Back with the nicknames. You feeling okay? You haven't called me that in ages."

Virgil blinked, realising there were tears in his eyes. He nodded, turning away slightly to hide them. "I'm fine."

Roman turned Virgil towards him. "Virge... I can tell you're not. You want to tell me what's up?"

"It's just... Pat." Virgil saw Roman's face fall, ever so slightly. He continued. "He was the first one to accept me when I came from the Dark Sides. Then you two. And now he's gone." Virgil shook his head slightly. "Sometimes I'm not sure you've accepted me. Sometimes I feel like going back. Before I remember why I left."

Roman hugged him again for a moment, before pulling back and realising Virgil now had silent tears tracking down his face. "Virgil, of course I've accepted you. You're one of my closest friends, you know that. Right?"

Virgil said nothing for a moment. "Mm. Right." He wiped his eyes. "I'm heading back up to bed." He picked up his glass and slowly made his way up the stairs, giving Roman a two-finger wave. "See you in the morning, Princey."


	7. The Changing

Patton yawned, stretched and rolled over. He cracked his eyes open to look at the clock. 9:30 am.

Who had let him sleep in this long?

At that moment, there was a knock on the door. "Come in!" He called.

The door opened to reveal Deceit. "How're you feeling?"

Patton smiled. "Better than last night."

"That's good." Deceit looked happy Patton was no longer in pain. "Breakfast is downstairs."

Patton followed him downstairs, placing his foot on the last step and stumbling, falling to his knees as another crack rang through the room, another fracture appeared on his face, followed by another, and another and another, and Patton was curled in a ball on the floor, crying, screaming almost as loud as the cracks themselves, just pleading, begging for the pain to stop.

And eventually, sweet unconsciousness came to the rescue.

Roman opened his eyes to see the world blurry and distorted. He blinked a few times before realising his eyes were filled with tears, and he was clutching his sheets like a lifeline. He slowly sat up and rubbed his eyes clear. Where are you, Padre, he thought. We need you.

He slowly walked downstairs, greeting Logan and Virgil and heading straight toward the kitchen to pour himself a cup of coffee.

"Roman." He looked up to see Virgil looking at him. "Can we talk?"

Roman placed down his coffee. "Sure Virge."

Virgil motioned for Roman to join him on the couch, so he made his way over, trying to swallow the lump in his throat.

Roman sat down and Virgil gently took each side of his head, turning his head to face his, before leaning in slightly and whispering, so Logan couldn't hear, "I know, Roman. I know. I can tell you're trying not to cry, I can tell you're hurting."

Roman looked surprised. "How did you-"

"Because that's how I feel, every day." Virgil wiped tears off Roman's face with his sleeve. "We're gonna find him. Okay?"

Roman nodded, giving Virgil a half smile, the first time he'd smiled since Patton had vanished. Then he stood up, making his way back to his coffee in the kitchen, leaving Virgil on the couch.

Remus looked at Patton, to Deceit, and then back at Patton. "Are you sure this will work?"

Deceit smiled. "It's already working."

Patton moved slightly, groaning quietly. "Looks like he's waking up. Remus, you'd better get out of here."

Remus nodded before turning and walking out of the room, into his own, and fading the door away.

Patton groaned again, mumbling something under his breath, before slowly opening his eyes. "More cracks. Right?" He sounded like he just wanted them to end. Deceit nodded.

Patton felt something, something... A shift or a push or a pull or something...

A something inside his chest, pushing, pulling, shifting, changing him.

And it hurt.

It hurt like fire, like someone trying to burn their way through his chest.

He looked to Deceit, unable to speak, eyes begging him for help.

Deceit crossed the room in two steps, kneeling next to Patton, placing a hand on his shoulder, helping him sit up. "It's your Changing, Patton. You're changing Sides."

Patton looked like he wanted nothing more than for everything to stop, Thomas' now lack of morality forgotten, just make everything stop.

And finally, it did.

Patton hugged himself tightly, tears forming in his eyes. Deceit leaned back on his heels. Patton turned to the Side net to him. "Dee... If I changed Sides... What Side am I now?"

Deceit appeared thoughtful for a moment, before laying one hand on Patton's back, the other resting gently on top of his head. He closed his eyes, leaving Patton feeling slightly awkward for a second, before he opened his eyes again. "Patton.."

"Yes? Do you know what Side I am now?"

He looked like he didn't want to answer.

"Deceit." The Side looked up, avoiding Patton's eyes. "What. Side. Am I."

Deceit let out a long breath, finally making eye contact. "Patton, you're... Insanity."


	8. Who Are You?

"Insanity?" Patton's voice was barely audible. "What's going to happen to Thomas?"

"I don't know, Patton."

Patton covered his head with his pillow. "Can I be alone for a bit?"

"Patton, I don't think-"

Patton whipped his head around, eyes glowing bright white. "LEAVE!" A second later his eyes returned to normal and he looked horrified with himself. "I'm... I'm sorry Deceit."

Deceit was shocked. "It's okay Patton. That- that was Insanity."

Patton leaned forward and buried his face in Deceit's shoulder.

He began to cry.

But even as he did so he felt it.

He was growing less sad by the second, growing more.. Angry.

"WHY?" Patton launched himself backwards and glared at the ceiling. "Why am I changing, why now?"

"I don't know Patton. But if you'd like, I can help you to better deal with being Insanity."

Patton didn't even look at him. "How?"

Deceit offered Patton his hand. "Come on, follow me."

Patton grabbed it and allowed himself to be pulled up.

Roman paced back and forth in his bedroom.

Four days. 

Four days since Patton had disappeared.

He glanced at his clock.

It was 11:30.

He hadn't eaten for hours, he was too worried about Patton.

He went downstairs and was greeted with Virgil holding tears in and Logan resolutely staring at the book in his hands, clearly not really reading.

Roman walked directly to the kitchen and started the coffee machine.

He hadn't been sleeping too well, and it would directly affect Thomas if he didn't stay awake.

Virgil turned to look at Roman as the coffee machine hissed. "Can I have some of that?"

Roman nodded, worried if he opened his mouth he might start crying. He pulled a second cup out of the cupboard.

Roman stood in the kitchen, just staring at the wall as he waited for the machine to finish.

He finally heard the sputters that meant the coffee was finished, and he picked up the now-full cups of coffee, depositing one on the table with a "Virgil, it's over here," before making his way back upstairs as Virgil got up to collect his coffee.

Where else could Pat be?

"And if you saw Virgil, what would you do?"

"Ignore him!"

"If he stopped you and tried to speak to you?"

"Cut him off and say I don't want to talk to him!"

"Good. If you're too attached to them they might get you back, and then they'll just begin being mean again."

Patton and Deceit sat in the library Deceit had conjured, going over what Patton should do when he saw the Light Sides again.

"If you want to talk to them..?"

"I try and be mean!"

"Yes. Now-"

Deceit was cut off by another deafening crack and another scream of pain as another fracture appeared over his temple. Immediately he conjured the cup of medicine that had been Patton's saviour during the Changing.

Patton drained it, trying to ignore the anger rising up inside him. It didn't work.

He hurled the now empty cup at the wall, yelling, "Why is it still happening? I've changed, why won't it STOP?" His eyes glowed bright white, fading after his outburst.

"S-Sorry Dee."

"Remember Pat, when you get angry like that and you don't want to be, you.."

"Take deep breaths and push it down."

Deceit nodded. "Do you want to see the Lights now and see if you can do this?"

Patton thought for a moment.

He nodded.

Roman finished his coffee and picked up his cup, headed toward the living room he now knew to be empty, as Logan and Virgil had both come back upstairs.

Patton was leaning against the wall, waiting. "Hello Roman."

Roman stopped in his tracks. He looked wary. "Who are you?"

Patton didn't think he looked that different, but he must, with the wardrobe change and cracks covering his face. He didn't answer, just grinning at the Side in front of him.

"Uhh... Guys?" Roman called. Logan and Virgil opened their doors, stopping for a moment to stare at the intruder before joining Roman.

"Who are you?" Virgil said bluntly.

Patton grinned wider. "Why, I'm Insanity of course!"

Virgil took a step forward. "Thomas doesn't have an Insanity."

Patton put on a fake face of offence for a moment, before answering, "Virgil, how could you not recognise me? Your own father?"

A mixed look of horror, anger and realisation washed over his face, and a similar one was displayed on the faces of the other two. "Oh my gosh.. Dad, what did that snake do to you?"


	9. Insanity

"What did Deceit do to me? Oh, no no no... What did you do to me?" Patton countered, his grin never leaving his face.

"What.. What did we do?" Roman spluttered. "What?"

"You screamed at me. You said I shouldn't even exist. That I was a failure." Patton could feel Insanity rising. He was no longer speaking in a calm and measured tone, spitting the words out like poison. "You told me no-one would care if I disappeared. That I was useless. A waste of space. You said I should go and live with the Dark Sides, so I did just that. So how does that feel NOW?" Patton screamed the last word, eyes shining. 

The Lights in front of him recoiled. Patton smirked. "Oh.. You're afraid of me... How.. Interesting.."

Patton thought of every single thing they'd said to him, not just in the Dark but ever, anger building.

Because Patton can't let go of one person?

Useless.

Failure.

Reckless.

I never realised how stupid and untalented you are.

Go live with the Dark Sides.

No-one would miss you.

Patton let out a scream of anger, eyes glowing again as he advanced on the Sides in front of him. "You told me you hated me! That I shouldn't even be a Side, to leave and go to the Dark Sides, that I was useless, a waste of space that no-one would miss! Well guess what! I'm not Morality anymore, and I can leave you to deal with Thomas now that he has no Morality!" 

Something flickered in the Sides' faces. They'd forgotten about Thomas. What would happen to him?

Patton watched their faces with satisfaction, calming slightly. "Ooh.. You forgot about him, didn't you? Are you gonna go running off to save him now?" 

Logan leaned forward and whispered something in Virgil's ear. Virgil nodded and Logan sank down.

Patton watched as the Side sank out. "Abandoning you... Such a good friend, no?" 

Roman stepped forward. "He's going to help Thomas, because you've thrown him out of balance!"

"Me? No no no.. It's not my fault.. It's yours! You told me to go and live with the Dark Sides. You caused this. Not me." Patton retaliated. Patton suddenly whipped a hand out and latched onto Roman's wrist.

"What are you-" Roman started, struggling to get his hand out of Patton's grip, before his eyes glowed white, and he fell silent.

It was.. Strange.

It was a bright white, but it was also pitch black.

Bright and dark.

Roman looked around in confusion as a voice whispered into his ear, "Insecure." 

He whipped around, but no-one was there. The voice came again. "Half-wit."

The whispers suddenly escalated, full-throated screams from everywhere and nowhere. 

"Useless."

"Worthless."

"Stupid."

"Untalented."

"Insecure."

"Bad guy."

"Waste of space."

"Insecure."

Suddenly Roman saw smoke enveloping him, bursts of white and grey and red, surrounding him and suffocating him.

He fell to his knees as he felt Insanity taking over.

He tried his best to push it away, but it latched onto him even stronger.

And he collapsed on the floor.

Roman lifted his head again, smirking, eyes bright white.

Patton smiled as he turned around and saw Virgil.

His smirk fell.

"You hated me. Why don't you anymore?" Roman's voice was distorted, terrifying. "You and I fought all the time, you always made me out to be the bad guy when you held Thomas back from doing anything. I was compared to Remus! You treated me far worse than I treated you." Roman reached out and fastened a hand around Virgil's throat, cutting off his air. "This is how I felt. Drowning. Dying, because no-one else could see it. How does it feel?" Roman screamed as Virgil struggled.

Virgil made a small choked sound as the glowing white drained from Roman's eyes and he became aware of what he was doing. He released his hand immediately and Virgil fell to the ground in a fit of coughing. Roman knelt next to him, placing a hand on his back. "Are you alright Virgil?" He asked quietly. "I'm so sorry- I didn't mean to.."

Virgil nodded before climbing to his feet. "It wasn't you, it was Insanity." 

The pair looked to the Side in question, who had not moved from his spot, just watching the display.

"Well, I'll be off now," Patton said cheerily. "I was just coming to introduce you to the new me. So then... I'll see you around.."

And with that Patton sank down, leaving the two in the hallway.


	10. Greetings

**Hi... I have nothing to say for myself**

* * *

Virgil and Roman wasted no time in sinking down to see Thomas.

As they rose up they saw him pacing back and forth, breathing hard. Logan was quietly talking to him, trying to get through to him.

"Did you tell him?" Roman asked.

Thomas looked up in confusion. Logan shook his head.

"Tell me what?" Thomas said.

"Thomas-" Virgil began, and hesitated.

" _What_?" Thomas yelled, and then looked shocked. "I'm- I'm sorry Virgil I.. I don't know what that was."

Virgil shook his head. Patton was affecting Thomas. "Patton has changed. He's not Morality anymore, he's Insanity. Which is why you reacted like that."

"I don't have Morality anymore?"

Logan shook his head.

Thomas threw himself back onto his bed and glared at the ceiling.

Roman opened his mouth, about to explain further, when Patton rose up into Thomas' bedroom.

"Hello, Thomas!"

Virgil's head whipped towards the intruder, stiffening immediately. "Thomas, come here. Now."

Thomas looked at Patton, ignoring Virgil's order for a moment to take in the new Side, before getting up and slowly moving over to Virgil.

"Come now, Virgil.. Shouldn't I be allowed to introduce myself to our host?" Patton smiled, like this was all just a game to him.

"No, you shouldn't have any kind of control over Thomas right now. What happened? Why did you go all..." Virgil gestured to Patton, trying to come up with the word. " _Dark_?"

Patton chuckled as Virgil pulled Thomas closer, pushing him behind himself, trying to protect Thomas from a fraction of his personality. 

"Well, where to start? Back when I was... _Morality_.." Patton made a face. "That day when you left me alone, and Deceit came to me for help a second time. I agreed to help him, and while helping him you three showed up, shouting the worst things at me.. And then.." Patton laughed slightly, looking for a moment really insane. "I _snapped_. Deceit offered me a place to stay with him, since of course I didn't want to be anywhere near _you_. I stayed with him, and gradually became who I am now. Now then-" Patton fixed his eyes on Thomas, peeking out from behind the other Sides. "-I think it's time I have some fun, no?"

Patton clapped his hands, and watched the show begin.

Colours flashed before Thomas' eyes, blinding him, sound filling his ears. 

Indistinguishable noise, colour, shapes, feelings, what was _happening_?

He was holding his head, he was on his knees, how did he get here?

He screamed, begging everything to stop, everything just growing, noise getting louder, feelings more intense, flashes brighter, tears streaming down his face.

"What did you do!" Virgil yelled, Roman kneeling next to Thomas, rubbing a hand over his back, trying to comfort him.

"I'm just showing our host here what I can do. Interesting, isn't it?" Patton replied, smiling serenely.

Virgil stormed forward, shoving Patton further away from Thomas. Patton stumbled, grip on Thomas slipping as the feelings, flashes, sounds began to fade away.

"Such a temper, Virgil... You'd best be careful with that. It could get you into some trouble.." Patton knew he could reclaim control over Thomas, but now wasn't the time. He should wait.. He could be patient.

He bowed slightly, grinning as Roman helped Thomas up from the floor. "Well, that's my business here done. So, goodbye Thomas. Virgil, Roman, Logan.. You will see me soon."

And Patton sank out once more, leaving the room silent, save for the quiet pants coming from Thomas, wiping his tears away and trying to calm down.

"So," said Thomas, once he had found his voice. "That.. Was Insanity."


End file.
